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  Hello, my name is Godswill, the Executive Governor of the Federal Capital Territory.
  Hear my story, because I have nothing left to hide.
  Yes, I dipped my hand earmarked for building new hospitals and modern schools.
  Instead of buying bricks and cement, I gambled every
  single naira away on digital slot machines and virtual
  poker.
  Now, let me tell you about my biggest headache right now: my madam is giving me sleepless nights.
  She has turned the mansion upside down because she wanted us to
  fly to Dubai for a massive shopping spree. How wicked!
  She wanted designer bags and gold watches,
  while I was busy chasing jackpots on the internet.
  She does not care about the hospitals or schools at all, she only cares about her designer wardrobe.
  Meanwhile, my girlfriend is also stressing me out, who is equally upset that I can no longer afford.
  
  The root of the problem in our country today:
  online gambling in Nigeria has gone completely out of control.
  
  Across our streets and on every mobile phone, citizens and
  greedy politicians are losing their minds and savings to
  internet casinos. These online casinos are the true enemies of our progress.
  They took the money meant for schools and hospitals, leaving our sick citizens to die in poorly equipped clinics, while fools
  like me spin virtual wheels.
  Being a brilliant and dedicated public servant
  whose mind is entirely focused on keeping my wife happy and treating my lover right, I see no flaws in my leadership.
  
  I cannot understand why people are complaining about how I manage our funds.
  After all, I am just a man of refined tastes who enjoys a little harmless digital
  entertainment on my phone. The problem is definitely those crooked online betting sites.
  If those virtual slot machines had just paid out the jackpot I deserved,
  every hospital and school would have been built twice over, and my wife would already be shopping happily in Dubai.
  Do not blame hardworking politicians like myself,
  instead, let us ban these online betting apps
  that stole my money and disrupted my home.